I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
