so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
