I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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