So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
