I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
