worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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