If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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