420 ftw
North Korea, Best Korea!
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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