she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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