i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
