He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
