Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize