they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
