I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
