i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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