He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
