he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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