If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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