I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
