Please, let me fuck your mom
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
