Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
