i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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