Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
