Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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