On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize