Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
