escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
false alarm. still invincible.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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