Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
