just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
