why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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