so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
