turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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