is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
