I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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