i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
