I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She told me I should be a condom model.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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