I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
