There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
