I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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