I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
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His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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