Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
