and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
