How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
