we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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