i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
