I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
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best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
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I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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