you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Enjoy the penises
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize