my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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