Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Four minutes until I can fart!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize