Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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