Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
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When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
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his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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