I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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