I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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