Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize