I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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