i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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