Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
