It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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