..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
