Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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