We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it glows. i had to have it.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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