Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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