ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
