Banned from zoo.
Again?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
