No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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